My life partner; Trevor the Panda.

It only seemed fitting that my first blog would be about the true love of my life; Trevor the Panda.

Trevor is a lonely soul and his life is filled with misery, which makes him tremendously happy. Our lives entwined the day I happened upon him at a local market where I was trying to make some money by selling my old crap. It was a dark day and although I don't actually think it was raining on that day, in my memory there was rain, which seemed fitting for this panda who is happiest when he's miserable; just like those elderly men who have ended up in a retirement home and pass the day by moaning about the youth of today and the war. They'd rather be dead than happy, because if they were happy what the hell would they moan about all day long.

Anyway, I adopted Trevor for the costly sum of two British pounds and now I don't know how I lived without him. He lets me wallow in my misery and comforts me in sickness. He hogs the bed and steals my clothes (specifically my batman t-shirt, although I'm fairly confident he has no idea who Batman is as he's not as much of a nerd as I am, but that T-shirts two big for me anyway so I don't mind so much). He plays with my neices and keeps me company on long car journeys. We talk about the past; he tells me about his days as an alcoholic and how there are months he can't remember and how he'd wake up surrounded by bottles wearing nothing but a pair of bunny ears and a green tutu 'Those were the days' he says fondly, as now he's sober he finds it hard to remember why he quit drinking in the first place because he used to have a good time; although actually he doesn't know whether it was good because he can't actually remember it but he thinks it was good and he resents society for enforcing their prejudices upon him and forcing him into sobriety. The only reason he's stayed sober all these years is because, as I mentioned before, he likes to be miserable and sober equals miserable for Trevor, which in turn equals happiness for Trevor, therefore he is a 12 and half year sober bear. I'm very proud of him.

What else is there to say about the awesomeness of Trevor . . . you know I think that's enough for now. Trevor wishes misery on you all and I say good day. GOOD DAY!